"I have always been at war with my body. When I was little, my mother started watching what I ate. I know retrospectively it was out of love, but at the time it was scary. I felt like I needed to change in order to be loved. I started to hate myself. I'd constantly find all my flaws. If someone ever gave me a compliment, I was convinced I was being set up. I started to harm my body. I hated it and wanted it destroyed inside and out. I turned to alcohol and drugs so I could feel at peace. I would harm myself thinking that would make it stop.
Learning to love myself has been a long and hard journey. I'd stand in front of the mirror and say everyday "I love you. You are worth it." It took months before I could keep a straight face while saying it, but I persisted. Almost three years later after I started this journey, I am in love with myself and my body, some of the time. I wanted to reward my progress with something that would help me celebrate myself and my journey.
The time leading up to the boudoir session, I was so scared. All my old fears came back. But getting in front of Rebecca Sigala's camera was a life changer. I felt good. Sexy. Empowered. And I anticipated getting the pictures. In them, I got to see myself as is. Yes, there was makeup, hair and a little photoshop to get rid of my mosquito bites. But it was me.
I'm so grateful to finally be able to see myself."
