I remember the very first conversation I had with Leah. I thought she was beautiful and interesting, and based on the things she shared, I was definitely intrigued to know more about her. We spoke about her reasons for desiring a boudoir experience. We spoke about her feelings about being photographed in the past. We spoke about sexuality. We spoke about her journey toward becoming a rabbi, and how that played a role in all of this. By the end of her discovery call, she told me she had to think about it, and shortly after, decided it wasn’t the right time for her.
As much as I want every woman in the world to experience boudoir right now, I can also appreciate that we are all on our own journeys, and things really do happen when they are meant to. It’s all about Divine timing.
When she reached out to me again, it felt right. She was ready. Scared, of course, but ready to take the leap. This isn’t something I take lightly, and I could tell how powerful it was for her to decide to do this. The first step is always the hardest, and usually, the most significant.
What I love most about Leah and how she approached this experience was that she gave herself the permission to truly feel it all. Our growth happens when we lean into discomfort. In places of discomfort, we learn the most about ourselves. We face our darkest parts. We gain clarity about who we are and what we want in life. It gives us the opportunity to choose to meet ourselves with kindness and compassion.
I am so honored that Leah allowed me in on her beautiful journey.
I’m excited for all of you that she is allowing you in, too, by being part of and sharing this interview I had with her just a couple of weeks ago…
In Leah's words, “Before this boudoir experience, I felt good about my body overall. I’ve had a long journey already toward being with my body and loving my body for what it is and what it isn’t.
The main reason I decided to do a boudoir session was not so much to help me feel better about my body, but rather it was a chance for me to affirm that I was worth spending a lot of money on. It felt like a stretch for me to spend the money on myself. I’m currently a graduate student, and it felt strange investing in myself at that time. That’s why it felt like something that I really, really needed to do.
I was looking for something to boost my overall self-worth and do something that in some ways was just for the moment. At the same time, the pictures are lasting, and they are a testament to the experience of doing the session. For me, the pictures were very, very affirming in this way.”
“When I first spoke to Rebecca, I was, and still am, exploring my relationship with my own sexuality and having questions in a few different ways. One is the fact that I am studying to be a rabbi. It’s a huge part of my life and a huge part of the commitment that I’m making to the Jewish community and the world at large.
I have been questioning the ways in which my sexuality is private, of course, but also how much it can or should be a part of my public life. My sexual identity informs the ways in which I move through the world as a sexual being, and that is an important part of my life as well. Becoming a rabbi is a road of empowerment for me, and in a similar way, this is a journey of claiming my sexuality, recognizing my desires, and healing from certain sexual experiences. All of that has been a part of my own empowerment.
Choosing to do the boudoir session was a part of that as well. I realized, “Oh actually, I want this, and I don’t need a romantic partner to be the reason why I do it.” To come to a place where I decided I wanted to do this was empowering. It was really for me to embrace my own sexuality and celebrate and love my body.
I came to Rebecca at kind of a low moment in my life of feeling not as much self-worth and not a great sense of enoughness. When I reached out, it was near my birthday, and I saw it as a way back to feeling whole and enough as I am.
The boudoir experience was a piece of reclaiming myself.”
“During the process, Rebecca really invited me to be mindful at every moment. Being a yoga teacher, I embraced that. It felt like a special opportunity to have this experience with mindfulness. For example, I enjoyed receiving journal prompts beforehand and having conversations with her for me to reflect on. There were some challenging feelings that came up, and Rebecca was able to hear and hold it. It made me feel like, “Ok, this doesn’t need to be perfect. Nothing in life is perfect.”
Part of that feeling was the build-up and anticipation of trying to make this a specific experience, and in the end, accepting it for what it was. I’m really grateful for the fact that I got to reflect and be mindful as a part of this. It definitely wouldn’t have been the same to do this kind of experience with someone who was just like, “Ok, great. Come in. Let’s take some pictures.”
“One of the best parts of the experience was going lingerie shopping. Rebecca recommended going to Miss Masimore, a lingerie store in Tel Aviv, and I literally fell in love with everything that was there. It was really the most pleasant shopping experience which surprised me because I have had a lot of difficulty with clothing shopping in the past. It’s where I feel the most insecurities about my body because I feel like nothing fits me. I have thoughts like, “It’s my body’s fault. I’m not attractive. Like woe is me, the world doesn’t design clothing that fits my petite body type.”
The few times I had gone lingerie shopping in the past, every bra felt uncomfortable. Like why? Why can’t we make things that are sexy and comfortable?
I just hadn’t had a great experience with it until I went to Miss Masimore. It was so fun to be picking out lingerie, by myself, and for myself. Of course, I had the photoshoot in mind with the intention of bringing out different parts of myself in each part of the boudoir session. I normally would’ve brought my spouse with me to do that kind of shopping, but doing it alone was so empowering and really healing for me.”
“Little pieces of frustration with my body definitely came out in preparation for the shoot and some anxieties that I hadn’t expected. I doubted if I would actually look good in the lingerie I had chosen and had a lot of anxiety about my outfit selection.
I felt this pressure that I was putting on myself, and I felt it even during the session. Yet going into a room and saying, “Here I am in my body. Take pictures of me. I trust you,” was significant. It was an experience of surrendering and trusting. Even at the time, I knew that it was going to be an important part of the experience for me.”
“When I received the pictures for the first time, I was really thrilled. Of course, there were some I didn’t like, but they weren’t the focus. I was able to see those and recognize that there were so many others that I loved. It was interesting that many of the pictures I loved were the ones that I remember feeling the most comfortable, mindful, and present in the moment. The ones that I didn’t like as much were experiments in shapes and space. It actually reminded me of the ways I do and don’t speak up and assume other people will know what I want. At the same time, I felt a lot of pride in the strength of my body and in its beauty.
The entire experience was so positive overall. I see this as a very Jewish teaching. We are supposed to break glasses at weddings and reference Jerusalem’s brokenness even in the midst of joy. It tells us that we are allowed to experience multiple emotions at once.
I think that’s also true in life. It’s just the human experience. To honor that in this experience, that it’s not positive at every single moment is important because nothing in life is like that. Practicing and zooming in on how we can live in multiple states and multiple realities at once is such a good lesson that I need over and over again.”
“My boudoir experience definitely has had a lasting impact. I did my session in December 2022, and in June, so six months later, I was asked to share a story about chesed (kindness) in my life. The story that I told was about having this experience. I shared that going lingerie shopping and doing boudoir was a way in which I started to return towards treating myself with loving kindness and believing in myself.
It helped me find my self-worth in a new way after having felt lost and like I didn’t recognize myself. The whole experience was powerful and continues to be powerful for me.”
“Working with Rebecca was lovely, and I felt like I could share honestly about why I was coming and who I am. It’s so wonderful to have experiences in which we can tell strangers our story and let ourselves be intimate with them.
I would definitely recommend this to other women. I think we’re all deserving of people who make us feel beautiful and whole. This is not the only way to love and celebrate our bodies, but it is definitely a fun way. I would encourage people to use it as a tool to propel them towards healing and wholeness within themselves.”
“I’ve really enjoyed looking at the pictures and sharing them with other people. I feel so proud of them and excited by them. I feel they are such a testament to what I’ve been through. They are a testament to my strengths and weaknesses, my courage, vulnerability, power, femininity, and all of the things that make me who I am, whether or not other people see that.
When I look at myself in the pictures, I see the journey that I’ve been on, and that is so invaluable.”
Hair and Makeup by Rhonda Lev at Beauty by Rhonda
Kodak Film // Processed and Scanned by Panda Labs
